Joke of the Day!

A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.


His buddy asks, "How will I recognize him?"

"That's easy; he's a midget with a speech impediment."

So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.

"A female horth."

So he shows him a prized filly.

"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"?

So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.

"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"?

So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.

"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"?

The rancher is getting pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nice mouf, can I see her twat"?

Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's fanny, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.
The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.
"Perhapth I should rephrase that. Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"?
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So you want Hillary to win huh? click here

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Humpday Stinker......

Brain Teaser #15

A man meets two men at two doors. A sign above the two doors
says, "One door leads to eternal bliss, while one leads to certain
peril. One of these men always lies, while one always tells the
truth." You may ask only one question. What question do you ask to
be certain that you get to the room with eternal bliss?

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Tuesday Tease........

A Skinny Riddle

What is being described in this riddle?
When I am filled,
I can point the way.
When I am empty,
Nothing moves me.
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As Seen on a Recent Bumper Sticker......

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YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is that "Large Marge"???????

Why NFL

quarterbacks

need to keep their names short

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Saturday's Stumper.....

ESCAPE HATCH......

SETTING: A prison cell with a dirt floor, stone walls, no window but a skylight very high up in the ceiling; no furniture except for a mattress

ACTION: The prisoner who was in the cell manages to escape through the skylight.

QUESTION: How did the prisoner escape?

Click comments to reveal answer!

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Today's News Headline...........

In response to a number of complaints that

there are not enough Black and Hispanic

people appearing on TV, the Network has

decided that in future...... 'America's Most Wanted'

will be shown 'TWICE' weekly

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Thursday Brain Booster........

Letter Perfect
Here is a set of letters that makes no sense:
umboet

If you insert a j at the beginning of the set and then insert a word space and another j within the set, you will get a two-word phrase that is an English expression: jumbo jet

Figure out the letter that, used twice (once after a word space), will make a two-word English expression out of each of the following sets of letters.

1. erriblewos
2. tudykills
3. astood
4. oubleate
5. ogays

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Hump Day Brain Teaser.......

Brain Teaser #209

See if you can translate the following?

Y Y U R Y Y U B I C U R Y Y 4 M E
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He brought you "White Power"..now Ari is back again.....

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Monday Mind Booster....

Brain teaser #207

Not born, but from a Mother's body drawn, I hang until half of
me is gone. I sleep in a cave until I grow old, then valued for
my hardened gold.

What am I?

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Sunday's Brain Booster.......

Where in the World?
Where in the world are you situated and in what direction are you facing if the following conditions are true?

• If you move to the right, it’s Saturday, July 1.
• If you move to the left, it’s Sunday, July 2.
• If you move forward, it’s summer.
• If you move backward, it’s winter.

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Joke of the Day.....

The Amish Farmer
An Amish farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking from
his pond.
The Amish farmer shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin
gesheissen."
Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows have shit in it."
The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak
in English."
The Amish farmer says: "Use two hands,.You'll get
more."
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Friday "Brain Booster".....

Loose Change
I have pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters.

How many of which coins should I give you if you want 1 dollar in 6 coins?

How many of which coins should I give you if you want 1 dollar in 28 coins?
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Aaahhhh! Just Pefect!!

A use for that Old Computer!
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Mid week Brain Teaser.........

Catching the Bus....

Every morning when Aldo, Brenda, and Cory line up at the bus stop, they can choose between two busses — one yellow and one blue. Whenever Aldo takes the yellow bus, Brenda and Cory take the same bus as each other. If Brenda takes the yellow bus, Aldo and Cory take different busses from each other. If Cory takes the blue bus, Aldo takes the same bus as Brenda. Which of the three kids always takes the same bus? What color is it?

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Today's Cartoon ......................................

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Monday Brain Teaser.........

Brain Teaser #141
I have a big mouth and I am also quite loud! I am NOT a gossip
but I do get involved with everyone's dirty business.
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Runway....Taint...?!?!?!?

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State by State..........

What determined the order in which the states in Column A are listed? What determined the order in which the states in Column B are listed?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Column A Ohio Idaho Hawaii Indiana Arkansas New Mexico Washington Mississippi West Virginia North Carolina

Column B Ohio Oregon New York Kansas South Dakota Arkansas South Carolina Arizona Alaska Alabama Click comments for the Answer...

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From Words To Figures

Write down the five-digit numeral spelled out below: twelve thousand twelve hundred twelve

Click comments to see the answer...
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"White Power"....Funnier than Hell!!!

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Mid Week "Brain Teaser".......

I am eight letters long - "12345678"
My 1234 is an atmospheric condition.
My 34567 supports a plant.
My 4567 is to appropriate.
My 45 is a friendly thank-you.
My 678 is a name.

Q: What word am I?

Click comments to see the Answer.....

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Cool try this......click here

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Make no Bones about it!!!!

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Sunday Brain Teaser........

Presidential Anagram
Of the first 42 presidents of the United States, there is one whose name can spell an ordinary English word if the letters are rearranged.

Who is that president, and what is the word?

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Joke of the Day................

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than ever.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off..
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate.
"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"
God just shrugged and said,


JESUS SAVES
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Today's Math Question.......

Four Digits.......

Guess the four-digit number described by the following three statements.

1. The first digit is one-third of the third digit.
2. The fourth digit is two times the second digit.
3. The first digit and the third digit add up to twice the sum of the second digit and fourth digit.

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Dust off your Brain People......Today's Brain Teaser...

Two of a Kind.....
For each three-letter sequence below, provide two (or more) words that include the identical sequence and that are both in the category named. For instance, for the sequence ERI and the category LAKES, you could come up with Erie and Superior.
Let's see who's been eating "Smart Food!"

Sequence		Category
BAG		vegetables
COR		zodiac signs
RON		metals
ALE		state capitals
ART		U.S. Presidents

Click Comments for Answers!
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Give your Pooch a lift.......

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New Year's Day "Brain Buster"

Wheel of Fortune......

A game wheel shows the numbers 1 to 36. Figure out on which 2-digit number Bobbo has landed given the following facts:

The number is divisible by 3.
The sum of the digits in this number lies between 4 and 8.
It is an odd number.
When the digits in this number are multiplied together, the total lies between 4 and 8.
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